To My Birthday Boy

To My Birthday Boy,

Oh sweet boy.  What a wonderful, hilarious, joyful, exceedingly blissful year it’s been.  What do you think of your life so far?  It’s hard to believe that, one year ago today, I was just going in for one of your last checkups only to find out that you’d be joining us in the world a few short whirlwind hours later.  You arrived quiet and happy, eyes wide.  They made you cry and as soon as your dad came over to see you, you stopped.  You knew him.  You had a love thing going on.

From the start, you were just the happiest baby in the world.  You snuggled, ate, slept and cooed but, with how your dad and I watched you, you would think you were launching rockets or painting masterpieces.  I never thought we’d be those parents who would sit on the bed, staring at their sleeping baby, or stay up late talking about what he did and how cute he was that day.  But, boy howdy, we were and are.  We couldn't help it.  We still can’t.  Be prepared to have us watch you grow for years to come, cheering and embarrassing the living daylights out of you.  It’s fascinating, awe-inspiring and entertaining. 

I've loved this last year more than I ever imagined.  I always heard how you don’t understand the capacity you have to love someone until you have a child.  Well, it’s true.  Some days I look at you and I still cannot believe you’re here and how much I love you.  It’s without-words-amazing.   

What’s more than the love, I like you.  I like the little person you've already started to become.  You’re smart.  I love watching you figure things out.  From puzzles to throwing balls to balancing yourself as you walk, I like watching the gears turn.  You’re funny.  It’s hilarious when you find something simple that makes you laugh and you do it over and over.  Throwing yourself on the beanbag so your dad will come cover you in kisses is my favorite these days.  You’re kind.  From kissing people good-bye to poking Ari in the eyeball, it’s all done with love.  I like the random moments with you.  You’re the sweetest boy I know.  I like that you hand me tiny things you've found on the floor.  I like how you steal cookies and crawl for the hills.  I like that, when you get frustrated, you wave your hands like mad because you know there’s a sign there that might get you what you want.

Your milestones this year have been such fun to watch.  I can’t help but squeal with glee when you walk into my arms, grin fixed and legs wobbly.  Your babbling language provides great conversation.  Your ability to feed yourself is excellent, if only a bit messy.  But, I do have to say, you’re not special.  At large, your milestones, accomplishments and abilities aren’t any better or different than millions of babies around the world who are taking their own first steps or saying their first words.  But, they mean the world to me and your dad.  They are special and unique and distinctively “Felix”.  No one else in the whole world is learning how you are.  No one else experiences new things the way you do.  You are so special.  Your existence, your person and your interaction with everything around you is so very unique.  I could not think you’re more special, advanced, a genius and a total ninja. 

Before you were born, we had an ultrasound that showed a (very normal) bright spot on your heart.  At the risk of sounding, just, the MOST cheesy cheesefest cheeser ever, it seems to be no coincidence that you’ve become the bright spot in so many hearts.  You have this spirit about you and it radiates.  You, your sweet face, goofy grin and happy self make everyone, from family to strangers, fall in love with you.  That, and so many more of your personality traits, make me proud and ecstatic to be your mama. 

You give me such happiness.  I think you’re a great, cool kid and the best son a mom could ask for.  I knew being a parent would be hard.  I prepared for the difficulty.  I knew there’d be less sleep and more messes.  But I wasn’t prepared for the utter, jump-up-and-down, spontaneous dance party, silly song, colorful, cheek-hurts-from-smiles happiness it would bring.

Thank you for being such a fun part of my life.  I so look forward to all the moments to come, all the things you will learn and see, all the awesome times we’ll all have.  If your first year is setting the tone, you’re going to have an incredible life, little boy, I have no doubt.  My heart bursts with the anticipation and excitement of it all.

All my love,

Your Mama