To My Birthday Boy

 An Ollie Tale

Where to begin? Ah, yes.  Concerning Ollie...

Ollie's are happy, jolly and love to eat.  You prefer to be held, comfortable and cozy, rather than run off and have adventures.

Thus making you a hobbit of sorts...

You are NINE years old. Even though you came out a forty year old man. So serious and thoughtful and discerning.

You’re heavy into video games and figuring out how to win, be the best, figure it out. You get frustrated a lot and are learning how to manage that.

You like your therapist, Summer. You play lots of crazy games with her. I’m so glad you have another grown up in your life to relate to, talk to, trust and help you with tools on how to handle big feelings. Normalizing therapy is so important. You’ll have such a head start on those of us who didn’t learn it was a necessary tool as adults.

Your class with Ms. Alldredge is a great one. You’re a genius. You sass her and you get along really well. Such a small class at only 17 kids. You get along so great with them all! Hayward and Irene are your most talked about friends. I love how much you are liked and said hi to. Over 30 kids are coming to your party. It’s nuts.

You are an amazing inspiration to so many. You are able to express your feelings so clearly you have to dumb it down for others. You are so self aware and able to self regulate. I’m in constant awe. Even when you’re tapped and have nothing else in your tank, you can tell us. You step away. You take a deep breath. It’s amazing to see. I wish you didn’t have to do it so often, but I’m glad you know how.

We road tripped to Uncle Cody’s house last summer. We had a house with a pool which you LIVED IN any time mom and dad weren’t force feeding you Mexican food. We’re going to San fransciso this summer and then to Lompoc so we can do it all over again. I cannot wait.

We had to say good bye to Indy this year. It’s hard to believe it’s only been since November that he’s been gone. You were so sad and stoic and supportive of everyone in the house. Sometimes we have to remind you that you don’t have to put your feelings aside to care about everyone else. You care so deeply and want to fix everything for everyone.

But sadness gives way to new joy. We have Mabel and Jasper now. You have a hard time holding sadness in one hand and joy in the other, but we’re learning. You love them so much and I am so glad because you were the one we were worried about not wanting to engage with them. But you are so in love with Mabel and you like Jasper. 

You, dear boy, had the first sleepover that wasn’t with family this year with Hayward. You rocked it. Of course you did. You went to Defy, and dinner  and then sleepover and we didn’t come get you in the night!

You still love to eat, little hobbit. You enjoyed a cruise to Alaska and all it’s good all the times. You liked the views and the company but boy did we eat.

One thing Ben has been really leaning into this year is letting you boys just be kids. I hope you get a full summer of popsicles and sleeping in and video games and riding bikes and just being a kid because you are a great one.

I can't wait to see what adventures we all get into in the years to come. Complete with second breakfast, elevensies and the other four meals when we can get them.

It's been an incredible year, I’d do all over in a heartbeat, there and back again, for sure.  Thanks for choosing me to be your mom.

All my love,
Your mama

To My Birthday Boy

Oh sweet boy. What a wonderful, hilarious, joyful, exceedingly blissful year it’s been. What do you think of your life so far? It’s hard to believe that, eleven years ago today, I was just going in for one of your last checkups only to find out that you’d be joining us in the world a few short whirlwind hours later. 

Can’t believe you’re 11. Every year I write your new age I feel like it’s wrong. There’s no way you’re so old. This one feels like such a departure from young childhood. Sometimes I look at you now and see who you'll look like as a teen. It's crazy how fast and slow you're growing up.

You are such a kind boy. So passionate and funny and cheerful. You make everyone around you smile. I was delighted at your birthday party at Peak Gymnastics by how kind and considerate and caring every child was. The people you have chosen to surround yourself with are truly an incredible example of what is going to change the world.

You’re figuring out this human thing better than many fully grown humans I know. You get frustrated and annoyed and mad and still  I see you trying. Every single day, I see you putting in effort. I am so proud of you s d I hope you are too. 

Last year you said was the hardest year of your life. In putting Floyd down in March and then Indy in November, what a hard year for everyone. You were so sweet with Indy and felt your feelings so purely. You still do. I’m so glad you feel safe and loved to use your words and your voice. I’m so honored to hold you through these moments in life. 

The arrival of Mabel and Jasper have made you so happy. There are tears most days of joy and sadness. Memories of Indy and Floyd in the watching of our new dogs. It’s hard. It’s good.

You wanted peach pie and chicken noodle soup for your birthday dinner. You were so considerate in planning you party - making sure those kids with allergies were still able to participate. Your consideration of people is insistent and I love it.

You are loved. You are safe. You are amazing. I am so proud of the human you are and the one you're growing into. You're headed to middle school next year, boy are we excited and nervous. So much energy and wondering how things are going to go. You have so many friends and I hope you'll all help each other through the weird new-ness.

I cannot wait to see what this next year brings. 

I think you’re a great, cool kid and the best son a mom could ask for. Stay kind, stay curious, stay little and stay kind, even when the world seems against you, work to change it. Tuck on in next to me and tell me about your games or your newest story your writing. You're my most favorite Felix in the whole world. I know I say it each year, but seriously, best year of my life.  

All my love, 
Your mama

 An Ollie Tale

Where to begin? Ah, yes.  Concerning Ollie...

Ollie's are happy, jolly and love to eat.  You prefer to be held, comfortable and cozy, rather than run off and have adventures.

Thus making you a hobbit of sorts...

Eight years old, baby! I can't believe it. Every year I have to pause when I write the number of years old you are and this year was no exception.

You still love to be fancy. Setting a table, your accents, video games. You also love to be the best.

This is the first year of school you’ve had from start to finish. How insane is it to think about that. You rocked it, of course. You love Mrs. Swanson, she was an incredible teacher, both challenging you and dressing up like a groundhog. A great balance for you. You scored really well in your hi-cap tests. You got so many raven raves. Your art is so beautiful and I can’t wait to see what you do with it. You got to go on a field trip! On a bus! To the zoo! You were most excited about the red foxes.

You got to celebrate your first birthday in school! You gave your classmates favors and got to have them sing happy birthday to you. I think you enjoyed being the last birthday of the school year.

You love brain teasers and jokes and fun facts. You love being with your people. You are growing out of being a little kid to being a big kid.

We had to say good bye to Floyd this year. You were so concerned for everyone else. Making sure they were ok. It took some work on your part to process it all for you. You’re a caretaker. Mom and dad will always work to make sure you know it’s not your job and we’re here for you.

We’re about to go on a cruise to Alaska. You are most excited about the tenders to shore. I love that. And the food, of course.

Even though I still think of you as a hobbit, we do love to go on adventures, hikes and walks. You love the snacks that sometimes accompany us. You love throwing rocks in the river. We are going to do so much adventuring this summer.

You and I traveled to Cheney and back in a day to get your really really long hair cut. It was such a fun day. With windy times near Columbia river, gas station snacks, singalongs, conversations. What a great day.

We went to Seabrook and brought Tristan! Such fun with all the cousins! You had a whole floor to yourselves. The older you get the more fun you three have together.

You got to go to birthday parties! Martial arts and baseball and gymnastics! I’m so glad we’re able to attend these in person events again. You had so much fun and play hard. I love how brave you are. When we had your birthday party, you wanted to go ice skating and just flew out there, fell pretty hard, got up and ran some more.

I can't wait to see what adventures we all get into in the years to come. Complete with second breakfast, elevensies and the other four meals when we can get them.

It's been an incredible year, one of the best and most surprising of my life.  I'd do the parts with you all over in a heartbeat, there and back again, for sure.  Thanks for choosing me to be your mom.

All my love,
Your mama

To My Birthday Boy

 To my birthday boy,

Oh sweet boy. What a wonderful, hilarious, joyful, exceedingly blissful year it’s been. What do you think of your life so far? It’s hard to believe that, eight years ago today, I was just going in for one of your last checkups only to find out that you’d be joining us in the world a few short whirlwind hours later. 

DOUBLE DIGITS. How are you ten years old? I cannot believe you've been here a whole decade. And yet, I haven't aged a day. 

What a year. Going back to school, getting to see friends, getting to be a KID. Riding bikes with your brother, lots of walks and playing Harry Potter. I do so love our walks in the woods when Dumbledore hands you off to Sirius and you tell him what you've been up to. Picking up a wand and giving it back when we depart. Those woods behind our house have so much magic in them now.

This is your first birthday in two years that we're getting to have a PARTY. Peak Gymnastics, such a fun place and where we had parties before the pandemic. You're going to have such a blast. You're going to be so tired. So many people want to celebrate with you.

Everyone in our house has been fully vaccinated for months now. They don't require masks at school anymore. Things in the world feel weird and new and oddly familiar. And you are doing such a great job of navigating it. You're tired, sure. We have behaviors to adjust sometimes but overall, you're safe and loved and you know it. 

You requested pumpkin pie for your traditional birthday breakfast pie this year. I love that so much because I have to make it. No one has pumpkin pie right now. My sweet punkin.

This year, your birthday is on Mother's Day. Which is just the BEST because you are who made me a mama. I sure do love being yours. I love watching you grow into this amazing person. Who fights injustice fiercely, who protects his brother without hesitation, who knows how they want to change the world and who I know without a doubt, will. You already do.

Your teacher this year is Mrs. Long and she’s still amazing. School is HARD this year and you are rocking it out. You love learning (geometry is new fave) and reading. Even in the summer I know you will read and want to learn as much as you can. 

You love Jurassic Park and Pokemon and animals. You love history and learning strange and true facts. You want to go see Uncle Cody so you can help with the dogs and horses and pigs. You are going to a cat cafe this year and lord help us if I see you trying to sneak one home. You like being right. You miss Floyd. You love diving into your pile of animals. You love the giant cardboard box in your room and use it like a fort. You're still an extroverted extrovert and love people. Strangers, good friends, it's all the same to you.

I love your heart, so sensitive and open and honest. When Floyd died in March you said "I hope I can enjoy the rest of my life." You feel things so intensely and you are learning how to put it all into words. You knew it was the right time for Floyd to go but you knew it would hurt so much. You loved giving him cheeseburgers and tater tots on his last day. You'll miss him always but it'll change and morph into something not so sharp. And that's ok.

You are loved. You are safe. You are amazing. I am so proud of the human you are and the one you're growing into. You care deeply about people. You want the world to be a fair place. You are inclusive and kind and creative and aware and sensitive. You are going to change the world just by being you. You already are.

I cannot wait to see what this next year brings. 

I think you’re a great, cool kid and the best son a mom could ask for. Stay kind, stay curious, stay little, innocent and blind to the worse things in the world forever stay kind, even when the world seems against you, work to change it. Tuck on in next to me and let’s read. You're my most favorite Felix in the whole world. I know I say it each year, but seriously, best year of my life.  

All my love, 
Your mama

To My Birthday Boy

 An Ollie Tale

Where to begin? Ah, yes.  Concerning Ollie...

Ollie's are happy, jolly and love to eat.  You prefer to be held, comfortable and cozy, rather than run off and have adventures.

Thus making you a hobbit of sorts...

Babe, you are SEVEN. Even writing that it feels just so wrong. You’re so old and yet still so little.

We are just starting to come out of quarantine a little and the pandemic is ever changing our world. In big and small ways. Your hair is SO LONG and beautiful and falls in large barrel curl ringlets. You get like so over us always complimenting you on it. Hair flip.

You’ve got one week of school left and you couldn’t be more over first grade. You’re so far beyond grade level it’s a little scary. You just got into hi-cap classes and tested at the top of all the scores. Duh, little genius baby.

I mean, yes sometimes we use our genius powers for evil. You are mad clever, and you know it. But that’s ok. You have a sweet and kind heart coupled with your really powerful brain.

We just left a period of intense learning with Felix. And then you were all, “Hold my Capri sun.” Because now it seems to be your turn. We are learning so much about feelings and frustration and growing up. You’re experiencing Felix grow up and not always wanting to play with you. You are realizing you’re your own person and you have your own interests. You really don’t like it when you don’t get what you want and you find it difficult to use your words.

You’re still decadent as hell. You have a laundry list of all the things you want for your birthday. All the kinds of M&M’s, make your own cupcakes, Popeye’s, bubble machine, new candy you’ve never tried, birthday pie, all the candy you want, staying up late, the list goes on. You’re like an Italian royal during their wedding week.

You still give zero fucks, man.  You tell it how it is. Honest and funny and true and in that tiny adorable voice that gets SO serious if we're talking about Minecraft, Dragon City or Weird, But True.

You especially love to creat your own version of things. Your own characters your own dragons your own worlds. You are constantly creating and I cannot get enough of that imagination.

I love how I can hear you wherever you are just singing a bit of a song to yourself while you do whatever it is you’re doing. Same, babe.

You are one of the most mature people I know. You get so sick of other people and their crap. You love to mute your class when it’s too much. You run away at parties when it’s too loud. You’re a gentle and kind and wise old soul who just sees things other people don’t.

I can't wait to see what adventures we all get into in the years to come. Complete with second breakfast, elevensies and the other four meals when we can get them.

It's been an incredible year, one of the best and most surprising and harder of my life.  I'd do the parts with you all over in a heartbeat, there and back again, for sure.  Thanks for choosing me to be your mom.

All my love,
Your mama

To My Birthday Boy

 To my birthday boy,

Oh sweet boy. What a wonderful, hilarious, joyful, exceedingly blissful year it’s been. What do you think of your life so far? It’s hard to believe that, eight years ago today, I was just going in for one of your last checkups only to find out that you’d be joining us in the world a few short whirlwind hours later. 

It happens every year. IT HAPPENS EVERY YEAR. I just typed "nine" and thought, "No, that's wrong. He can't be 9." But, just like every year, it's true. Maybe even more true this year than previous ones - because I got to be home with you so much this year and got to SEE all the growth and change that happened. Nine. That’s ALMOST A WHOLE HAND, KID.

We’re at Seabrook just before your birthday and it’s been a peaceful place for us this last year. We’ve been in quarantine/lockdown/pandemic world since March 2020. This is your second birthday in quarantine. A lot of what I’m worried you’re missing doesn’t seem to phase you. You’re happy and thriving and excited about as much as you were in the before times.

We’re almost fully vaccinated. Mom and Dad have one shot under their belt and will be immunized at the end of May. We’re celebrating you on your birthday and after with a small party with family. You seem just thrilled at the traditions of dad making your requested meal and birthday breakfast pie.

You have really grown up this year. We never really had the terrible twos or a three-nager  but seven was a tough year. You learned. I learned. We grew. And now we’re on the other side of it. It truly was a phase. Who knew you’d ever grow out of it. But you’re so able to calm yourself, use your voice and avoid a tantrum. I mean, I can’t think of the last time you had an epic meltdown tantrum. Felix, that’s incredible. And so are you.

This year and we as your parents have asked just so much of you. We have high expectations and I gotta tell you, kiddo, you have exceeded them all. You’re thriving in your high-cap class, even remotely. You’re an incredible artist and author. I love when you want to use the iPad and your laptop at night so you can write. UGH, MY HEART.

I love when you wear shorts because you have the knobby knees. You’re so gangly. Like a golden retriever that hasn’t grown into its paws yet.

You are a master bike rider now and love to be outside zooming around every chance you get. Outside was made more wonderful by the arrival of new neighbors with a little girl near your age. Cul du sac times rock!

Your teacher this year (and next) is Mrs. Long and she’s incredible. She pushes you, helps you be more and more independent, challenges and supports you. Even when in-person learning opened back up and you had to switch schedules and re-learn some things, you and she did it with such grace. School is almost over. You’re so close to a summer more normal.

We read and watched the 3rd and 4th Harry Potter. I love how intense of feelings books and movies get you. During the last part of movie 4 your whole body was sweaty. I think it’s because you’re such an empath. All the feels all the time

You love unicorns. And dragons. And dinosaurs. And non-fiction. And strange but true facts. You want to work in a pet store when you grow up. And you talk a lot about when you’ll move out (doing the math to the year) your kids and pets you’ll have and their lives you’ll give them. It all sounds like a sweet gig. You also really, really, really like to be right. Like a lot. A really lot. But you’re more kind about it when you’re wrong these days.

You are loved. You are safe. You are amazing. I am so proud of the human you are and the one you're growing into. You care deeply about people. You want the world to be a fair place. You are inclusive and kind and creative and aware and sensitive. You are going to change the world just by being you.

I cannot wait to see what this next year brings. 

I think you’re a great, cool kid and the best son a mom could ask for. Stay kind, stay curious, stay little, innocent and blind to the worse things in the world forever stay kind, even when the world seems against you, work to change it. Tuck on in next to me and let’s read. You're my most favorite Felix in the whole world. I know I say it each year, but seriously, best year of my life.  

All my love, 
Your mama

To My Birthday Boy

An Ollie Tale

Where to begin? Ah, yes.  Concerning Ollie...

Ollie's are happy, jolly and love to eat.  You prefer to be held, comfortable and cozy, rather than run off and have adventures.

Thus making you a hobbit of sorts...

How in the world are you SIX. I just can't. You are growing as fast as your hair, which, by the way, has never been longer.

This world right now. The pandemic. The protests. The uncertainty. It's all so much. And you, my sweet little love, are handling it all so much better than many adults I know. You know enough of what's happening and you have hope. Hope and certainty that everything is going to be ok. You know that is not the case for everyone. You understand so much at such a young age. Things grown ups don't even understand.

You. Can. Read. I am just so proud. And would like to tell the world that the desire to play Pokemon video games is greatly responsible for your motivation. Well done, baby!

You still give zero fucks, man.  You tell it how it is. Honest and funny and true and in that tiny adorable voice that gets SO serious if we're talking about Minecraft, Animal Crossing or Diablo.

You are so in love with anything soft. One of your birthday requests this year was that everyone has to wear soft things all day long. Such a tactile baby. You love to fiddle with things, rip things into pieces, destroy things. You need a fidgit cube.

You were a cat in another life. Anytime there’s a small space you’re in it. Boxes. Under tables, in tents. There’s Ollie.

Your sense of humor and comedic timing makes me laugh out loud daily. From the original “wakka-wakka” to your puns to your looks, you are the funniest kid I know.

I love your love of all things decadent. When asked what you wanted for your birthday you basically said “soft things, luxurious bedding and all my favorite foods, plus candy, and I get to do whatever I want.” If we let you, it would be a five day event. And goddess knows you’re going lord your power over everyone all day like a queen.

Your maturity and sense of the world doesn’t come without a serious side. You often stare off at bedtime only to follow it up with “what happens when we die?” or “what would happen if you stomped on a skull?” You have such wonder and concern about things you don’t know. You’re curious and thoughtful. Maybe a little morbid. And that’s all ok.

In case you thought you had grown out of it, you have not. You are still “The Darkness”. From loving villains to thinking people are assholes for parking terribly, to ripping paper into little bits and leaving them on the floor because it’s fun to destroy, you march to a dark drummer. You feel things so very deeply and I hope that is always the case.

I can't wait to see what adventures we all get into in the years to come. Complete with second breakfast, elevensies and the other four meals when we can get them.

It's been an incredible year, one of the best of my life.  I'd do it all over in a heartbeat, there and back again, for sure.  Thanks for choosing me to be your mom.

All my love,
Your mama