Happy Birthday, Banana!

Dear Hannah,

When I think about you the word that comes to mind is "unconditional".  You put up with so much of me. My moods, quirks, requests (ok, demands), ideas, tantrums and plans. You love me, Ben and the boys unconditionally and without hesitation.  

But more than that, I want you to know, when I think of you, the word that comes to mind is "unconditional". In that, I love you no matter your moods, quirks, requests (pepperoni, please), ideas, tantrums and plans. I hope you know I adore you, think the world of you, am so proud of the person you are, have become and are becoming. 

You're an inspiration and I depend on you as a sailor depends on the stars: for guidance and a reminder that life can be beautiful, mysterious, terrifying but conquerable, and incredible.

You are a kind, decent, unfailingly generous person. My pillar, without whom I could not stand. I am proud to be your friend. 

Happy birthday, my dearest. Know you are loved beyond words. You always s have someone in your corner, always have a net to catch you, a sanctuary if ever you should need it. 

Love, 

Christi

Ollie's Birthday Party(ies)

We had Ollie's birthday parties on the 20th of June.  Lunch with the family and then a friends party after naps.  It was a great day!

Party preparations.

"Cake now."

This kid loves to eat.

First birthday cake!  

NOM

These two are best buds.

Happy birthday, Ollie!

Ollie loves balls.

Stats board

Tuckered.

Ollie at One Year

Loves to eat.  More than any other activity.
Can say: Ball, hat, table, apple, uh-oh, Indy, book
Feeds us.
Moves all night long in his crib.
Went to Tristan's birthday
Went swimming
Climbs stairs
Turns his mobile on himself.
Broke his mobile.
Has FINALLY worn pants.

Team Farmer!

ONE YEAR OLD!

To My Birthday Boy

An Ollie Tale

Where to begin? Ah yes. Concerning Ollie...

Ollie's are happy, jolly, and love to eat. When you get hair on your body it will likely be on your gigantic feet and look a whole lot like the hair on your head, curly and brown. You have never worn shoes, you prefer to be held, comfortable and cozy, rather than run off and have adventures.

Thus making you a hobbit of sorts.

I cannot believe it's been a year since you arrived. Time has FLOWN. I feel like your life has gone so quickly so far. It's like when you eat (anything really) blueberries, you grab as many as your chubby hand can hold and shove them in your mouth with vigor. Slow down, baby. Take it easy. Be tiny and chubby as long as you can.

We call you our Extreme Baby. Everything you feel you feel 100% and RIGHT NOW. Happy, sleepy, sad, hungry. All of whatever feeling all at once. Love this about you. We never have to guess what you feel.

Aiding that, your words are growing in numbers each day. Out, table, Apple, uh-oh, Indy, dog, mama, daddy, ball... The list goes on and on. We're entering my favorite part of learning where you can repeat at least the inflection of our words.

Your dad and I love watching you sleep. You never stop moving. All night long you're going, switching, rolling. You will be the baby we find in the closet or under the bed in a year or so she you have a big boy bed.

I adore your big brown eyes and curly hair. You look like me. I can actually see it. It makes me so happy to see you looking like me and making the same faces.

I adore how much you want mama. It can be tough sometimes, sure. But it feel so good when you hug me tight and lay your head on my shoulder and heave a sigh of relief. I'm glad, honored and humbled to be your comfort.

I adore how kind you are. How curious you are. How much you love music. It comes on and you stop everything to listen. I love how much you love sleep. From the moment we put you in your own bed, unswaddled, you slept 8-14 hours at night with ease. I wish I had let you sleep your way from the beginning and not wait until you were four months old. We could avoided the "Ollie hates mommy" days where you would grunt and cry and wiggle. I should have listened to what you were telling me.

You definitely are your own kid. From the beginning, you arrived on your own timeline, letting me know, MOM, let's GO!  You do what you want, how you want it. You eat 6 pieces of grapes when we cut them into halves so you won't choke. You don't care much for learning to walk but your communication skills are stellar. The first time we put you in the pool, you swam. You are so analytical and I can see you figuring things out.  We're in for so much trouble when you can pair your thought process with your motor skills.

I can't wait to see what adventures we all get into in the years to come. Complete with second breakfast, elevensies and the other four meals when we can get them.

When we had your brother, we thought no other baby could ever be as happy as he was and is.  You, kid, are giving him a true run for his money.  You are pure bubble, loud, smily joy from the moment you wake to the last grin before bed.  When you scrunch up your nose as I lay you in the crib and say, "Off to the cupboard with you now, Chip" it melts my heart.

I can't say enough how happy you make me,  how grateful you chose us for your family and how much I love you with my whole heart.  I love every tiny chubby, extra dimpled, wiggly, crazy-fast crawling, adorable thing about you.  It's been an incredible year, one of the best of my life. I'd do it all over in a heartbeat, there and back again, for sure.

All my love,
Your mama

Thoughts on 30

Shortly beforre turning 30 I started thinking about the little pieces that make me weird.  I jotted them down.

I love cafeteria food, airplane food and hospital food.

I used to think I was adopted because I don't love peanuts or fried chicken.

I want my babies to have as good a life as I do at this age.

When I was young, many things came easy to me and when they stopped being easy I stopped doing them. I still do this sometimes.

I hate learning.

I have weird lists like, "Celebrities I'll be sad when they die", "surprisingly happy professions" and "Foods I forget I hate".

I don't wash my face. If it gets wet in the shower, I call it good.

I had severe OCD as a child. I can still do the rituals I did as a child now as an adult but they hold no meaning. When they show up they are just a sign I'm stressed.

I can burp better than anyone I know.

I can't sit in a chair meant to spin and sit still.

I have the worst luck with lightbulbs and potato peelers.

I absolutely love to hate Martha Stewart.

Sometimes, if I can’t do something myself, rather than ask for help (especially if the task is strength-related and I have to ask a boy) I just won’t do it.

One of my biggest regrets is that I don’t own a dragon.

I save the worms and spider and give up my place in line to people with kids.  This is the nicest I get.

I would be lost in this world without the wisdom of Mr. Rogers.

I am the biggest baby when I'm sick. I hate the sick and I want my mommy.

My memory creeps people out. I would love to not remember your wedding details from 10 years ago better than you do. Or every Friends line ever.

I undeniably hate people at large. I hate being around a lot of them. I hate listening to them.

I adore being the only people in movie theaters. Especially when I watch movies like UP.

One of the best things in the world is new, cold, smooth, tucked sheets.

I don't even mind that we pretty much pay the Costco membership just for the Costco hot dogs, they're that good.

I've learned that the days I say “I should bring my sunglasses” are exactly the days I should bring them.

I love to dissect my food.

I see all this art done with pages of books and it mortified me. How could you do that to books?

I have more puzzles than pairs of shoes.

I have strong opinions on gay rights, politics, racism, parenting, religion and ketchup. I mostly keep them to myself. They can be sensitive issues.

I love crusts.

I've never had jury duty. And have ALWAYS wanted to.

I hate when companies put pamphlets on my house.

Callin' Baton Rouge by Garth brooks and Hotel California by the Eagles are the only two songs I prefer live versions.

Ollie at 11 Months

Claps
Knows where (and can point to) the light, the fan, mommy and daddy are
Squeezes eyes shut super tight
First Mariners game
SAYS "bye-bye"
Still never worn pants
First Brother's birthday celebrations
Eats almost EVERYTHING
Gets super stuck in the crib slats

"what you lookin' at."

To My Birthday Boy

To My Birthday Boy,

Oh sweet boy.  What a wonderful, hilarious, joyful, exceedingly blissful year it’s been.  What do you think of your life so far?  It’s hard to believe that, three years ago today, I was just going in for one of your last checkups only to find out that you’d be joining us in the world a few short whirlwind hours later.

I was making reservations for your birthday party a few weeks ago.  "For Felix's 3rd birthday," I said.  And I stopped.  That can't be right.  There's no way he's three.  Kid, there's no way you're three.  When parents talk about their kids growing too fast, they're not joking.  Three years old.  Soon you'll be all grown up, taking the world by storm.  

Your dad and I constantly think and talk about how big you are.  How many words you have, how much you understand.  How much you can DO.  Brush your teeth, check out library books, use the computer, "text", totally potty-trained, feed yourself without messes, sing and dance, run and play, be social, ride your tricycle, put your shoes on.  Everything is "I can do it."  You're so independent and huge.

And then, at the same time, you're still so tiny.  We see pictures of you with other kids and they all fit at the adult table and we can barely see your little face.  I love how we still have so much to teach you.  Not just big things like how not to be a jerk but little things like "baby, we don't eat the rind, just the inside of the orange."  Something so "normal" to us, you still have to learn.  You still need comfort and guidance.  You still want your back rubbed in the night.  You still need mommy or daddy to kiss it when you fall down and get hurt.  I am holding onto these moments and tiny human needs as long as I can.  Because, just like you say, "One day, I won't need a mommy and daddy and I will use the adult remotes and have Christmas lights up all the time."  

The first coherent dream happened this year.  You came into our room and said, "Mommy, I was thinking while I was sleeping.  About building tracks."  I ADORE how simple and sweet and totally "Felix" your dream was.  

You got a brother this year.  And, Felix, I could not be more proud of you as a big brother.  You are unfailingly kind to Oliver.  I keep waiting for you to hate each other.  But you keep showing me who you are.  You're kind and patient and sweet, just like your dad.  You want to help, want to hold, want to love, and you do it all so well.  And he loves you right back.  You are both incredibly lucky to have each other.  He smiles at you more than anyone else.  He looks for you and tries to follow you.  When he's sad and crying, you're what calms him.  He stops crying each and every time you sing.  Just magical.  You watch out for him and protect him and teach him.  Watching you two together makes me gush with happy.  

You're hilarious, even without meaning to be.  Things like "My mouth shampoo is gone" when your toothpaste is gone.  Or, "If I hear that one more time, I'm gonna turn you into a frog." when I wouldn't stop saying "what?"  Or, when you said, "June, you ate Ollie's birthday.  Ollie's birthday is in June!"  Or, "I want tired man pizza" (Little Ceasar's) or keeping your eye literally on the ball when we say to keep your eye on the ball.  Or, "Dad, this is eatiful." when you like what you're eating.  Or, "they're using the fire truck to wash all the fire away."  I love, love, love when you give your dad a slimy noodle to do the Lady and the Tramp thing.  Things like that make me smile and marvel at the connections you make.

As funny and truly clever as you are, my favorite thing about you is your kindness.  From hugging strangers at the Mariner's Team Store to saying you're Banana's boys, to being so sad that no one wants to visit the town in Cars to trying to feed Ollie your pizza crust to telling Floyd not to scratch so he won't hurt himself, to giving your dad some popcorn so he won't be hungry at work, to your random and plentiful "I love you, Mommy"s.  

I think you’re a great, cool kid and the best son a mom could ask for.  Stay kind, stay curious, stay little forever.  Tuck in on the movie couch and snuggle your dad, brother and me for always.  You're my most favorite Felix in the whole world.  I know I say it each year, but seriously, best year of my life.  

All my love, 
Your mama  

Ollie at 10 Months

Ollie at 10 Months

Eats NON-STOP
4 teeth
Waves bye-bye
Went on the grass - didn't phase him
Wears 12 month clothing
Signs "more", "milk"
Still never worn pants

This is his tired face.

First time in a cart

Ollie at Nine Months

Ollie at Nine Months

Pulls himself to standing and then lets go
"Walks" along couch
Eats waffles, pizza, chicken, zucchini, green beans, pasta, cheese
Has stories at bedtime
Likes to bite everything
Has two teeth and another one on the top coming in
Roars
29 inches long
21 lbs
Intermittently says "mama"
Still never worn pants

Death to mine enemies!

Snot-covered head