9/11

I like to think I know everything.  Some days it might even be true.  And then there are days that remind me I know nothing.  Today is one of those days. 

It was a somber drive to work.  Not that it’s usually a carnival, but the energy was very quiet today.  The radio station I was listening to replayed the audio from this day twelve years ago.  You could tell who was listening to the same broadcast.  It was the car in front of me who had a green light and didn’t go.  It was the driver beside me with the tears.  It was the one honking at the man on the corner with the American flag.  It was me with the goosebumps and shaking head and still utter disbelief.  It was all of us.  This day affects. Every. Single. One. Of. Us.

This one day in history is a day everyone in this country remembers.  Like we could forget.  It’s in the history books.  It’s part of us.  We remember where we were when we heard.  We remember the flight numbers.  We remember the images on TV.  Every citizen became a little bit more American that day.  A little more united.  A little stronger, more protective of all we have worked for.  Some lost their freedom, their family, faith, and their lives.  We can’t forget.

Part of me is proud.  Proud that we as a nation rallied around those directly affected.  Proud that we came together.  Proud that we took a beating and rose from the flames stronger as a whole.  Part of me wants to go all Toby Keith and kick some ass.  Part of me wants to hide.  Twelve years.  A dozen years, and I still cry, get angry and terrified all at once.

It was a Tuesday.  I was a high school student.  I was asleep when my mom came in, urging me to get out of bed and come downstairs.  We watched the footage on TV.  I remember being bewildered.  How could what I was seeing be happening?  And it just kept getting worse.  One crash, two crash, three, evacuations, airport shutdowns, terrorist attack, death toll.  So much information and yet we all knew nothing.  We had family on the east coast.  No calls were going through.  We went to school.  We went to work.  TV and radios were on in every classroom.  The hallways were whispers and tears.  There weren’t, and still aren’t, words to describe the feelings of that day.  But they are powerful, reverent and everlasting.

Like I said, I don’t know much.  I don’t follow politics close enough to have a more specific opinion than “freedom and justice for all”.  I don’t know how to save the environment other than the school-taught adage of “reduce, reuse, recycle”.  I don’t believe in religion enough to go to church.  I do know that day, twelve years ago, changed me, changed us all.  Every one of us impermeably and forever. 

It always sounds so small in comparison to the jobs you do but, thank you to everyone who served and serves.  In any capacity.  On any front.  

Never forget.