May 8th - 3:30 PM - Group Health Medical Center
"And the baby is head down?" The midwife felt my very large stomach.
"Yes, has been since week twenty," I said.
"Hmm. Let's get a quick ultrasound just to make sure."
"Ok..."
She picked up the in-room ultrasound wand and set it on my stomach, just below my left boob. Two seconds later... "Yep, I thought so. There's his head."
"Shut up... You've GOT to be kidding me."
He was head down on Friday. Between Friday and Tuesday he flipped himself right side up. He was breech for three days. THREE DAYS.
May 8th - 3:45 PM
The midwife led the on-call OB in. By this time I was fighting tears. The OB checked my amniotic fluid levels and informed me that they were too low to try a version (flipping the baby into position from the outside) and that she was concerned that the cord could crimp or wrap if they tried.
"You need to have a C-section and you need to have it today."
They kept saying "urgent". "It's not an emergency, but it's urgent." And "baby needs to come out".
We kept saying, "This kid is so grounded."
Cue tears.
Ben and I always said, "However Felix enters the world is exactly how he is supposed to enter the world." Working to be flexible and trying to go with the flow. That being said, we didn't plan for Felix to join us via C-section.
We had planned to welcome him after hours of labor, ice chips and focus objects, naturally and without drugs. We didn't research c-sections or even think about them. We were floored when the birth plan we were so ready to execute was thrown out the window.
We were sent home to get our hospital bag, take a shower and scheduled to return to the hospital at seven pm for our surgery at nine that night. The drive home was a blur. I just kept thinking, "I can't believe this is happening."
Ben was a lifesaver. He kept reminding me of our previous mantra, told me to focus on the fact that, in a few hours, we would have our son. Kept telling me that a c-section was the safest option now for Felix and me. Kept holding my hand. I didn't know until days later that he was just as terrified as I was.
I put on my big girl panties and got on board with what was going to happen. I braided my hair and put makeup on. When Ben asked why I told him that it was incentive for me not to cry. I was going to laugh through this unexpected experience or cry trying.
Our room!
When we checked in, they gave me a delightfully tasteful gown.
And Ben got a space suit, complete with hairnet.
While we waited for everything to get ready (good God there is a lot of paperwork when people want to cut your middle open), we did what any nervous parents would do.
Took picture of the score as we went into surgery.
Played some Zelda.
Photo-bombed the nurses.
You know, the usual.
Finally, it was time to go into the OR. I was lucky in lots of ways. I didn't have to go through hours and hours of labor before we had to have a c-section. So, taking full advantage of that, I decided to skip to the OR. Remember, we are laughing through this.
Time for drugs! Time for giant needles! Time to (inadvertently) make the docs laugh.
I sat on the table and got the spinal. Within seconds my legs felt heavy and tingly. I think I was really super nervous because I said, "Guys, I can't feel my legs. Seriously, I can't feel my legs!"
The anesthesiologist thought that was great. "Yes, that's the point. Lay back."
Ben sat next to my head and held my hand. Before they started, the nurse looked at me and said, "If you don't want to see anything do not, I repeat, DO NOT look at the lights." They were mirrored and you could really see everything.
Ben watched the entire operation. They kept asking him if he was okay and he just said, "Dude, move. I can't see." He likened it all to being a chef and cutting up meat all the time. Same feeling.
I didn't watch the first part. I was terrified. Kept my eyes closed and chatted up the anesthesiologist. Asking him which medical shows on TV were the most real(He doesn't watch but doesn't like House). I couldn't stop my arms and upper half from shaking. Like fierce shaking. They said it was due to the spinal. It was weird.
About ten minutes after they (OB and a midwife as first assist and a slew of nurses) started, we heard "Here he is!" and "definitely a boy!" I guess he came out butt and balls first. Ben said they kind of pushed him back in and grabbed a leg. I couldn't feel anything. Not a damn thing. Weirdo that I am, I tried to move my leg just to see if I could. I could not.
I wait to see him.
While they cleaned Felix off, I watched the surgery. It is beyond surreal to see your own uterus, stomach muscles, blood and just general guts exposed. Absolutely surreal. I watched them suck the blood and fluid out. I watched them sew my uterus back together. I watched it all. Just incredible.
Look at his giant fingers!
Ben said he was wide eyed and quiet. They apologized to us for having to do it and made him cry. Once Ben went to the bin they put Felix in and said, "Hi Felix" he was quiet again. Just wide awake and watching.
I watched them staple my skin together and asked to see the staple gun. They laughed when I saw it and was disappointed that it was so tiny. I wanted a full on staple gun.
Ben brought Felix to me. Our first family photo.
I kept saying, "I can't believe he's here. I can't believe he's here." I still say that every day. We got wheeled back to the recovery room and they put me under warming blankets to get me to stop shaking. They put these things on my legs that squeezed them to keep the blood moving. They checked all my vitals. And then Ben handed me Felix.
Oh God, that sweet face!
Tiny wrinkled hands. His feet were so wrinkled too. They told us it was because he was in water for ten months and duh.
They got a love thing.
These are some of our nurses. The one with the dark hair on the right was our favorite, Candace. She was awesome and took such good care of us all.
For a c-section they have you stay in the hospital for two nights. Since Felix was born so late at night they said we needed to stay for three nights. I said, "buck that." I was on a mission to go home. I was walking the next day. Off the catheter, IV out within hours of walking. I wanted out. The nurses thought I was a rockstar. And that was awesome, I have to admit. They wanted to walk me by other women and say, "this is how you're supposed to do it."
Overlake has the best cheeseburgers. I think I ate like five before we left. Seriously. The people at the room service laughed every time we called.
We got to go home a day early because of our efforts, obnoxious and repetitive asking to go home and good behavior. The pediatrician signed off on Felix and his healthy self. And once they took the staples out of me, I was free too!
Look at the tiny staples! Out! Home!
I can't believe we get to take this sweet boy home!
It was scary and unexpected to have a c-section. I think it all happened the way it was supposed to. If I had known I was going to have a c-section for weeks and weeks I would have been terrified and nervous for all those weeks. Only knowing for a few hours before it happened worked out great. It was wham, bam. I didn't have time to freak out. I had a car ride to cry it out and then we just had to go. He really came into the world the way he was supposed to. I'm beyond grateful for the hospital, nurses, doctors and Ben for the support, humor and expertise they provided.
After so many months of waiting and hoping and wondering what he would look like and who he would be, I can't believe he's here. He's so cute - like to the point of barfing, and has his own personality and looks just like his dad. I am one blessed mama.
A happy little family.
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