To My Birthday Boy

To My Birthday Boy,

Oh sweet boy.  What a wonderful, hilarious, joyful, exceedingly blissful year it’s been.  What do you think of your life so far?  It’s hard to believe that, four years ago today, I was just going in for one of your last checkups only to find out that you’d be joining us in the world a few short whirlwind hours later.

I CANNOT believe you're four.  Like, it just sounds wrong, like I skipped a year or three.  I see all your classmates (because you're so old you have freaking classmates now) turning four years old and I realize you're one of the youngest kids in class.  I was always the younger kid in class and loved it.  

You sure seem to love pre-school, Ms. Pam and all your new friends.  I know you going to preschool forever changed your dad and my life.  It feels like we found our tribe.  I'd heard it said that the parents you meet in co-op are friends you'll have for life.  I never believed it would be true.  But I see you graduating with JJ, Greta, Ryan, Ruby, Dylan, Gracelyn and all the rest.  I see our families together in the future.  Kickball, field trips, parks, vacations, whatever.  It feels wonderful when you talk about how much you love them.

But, so yeah, if you could stop growing up that would be great.  I feel like this year has been the hardest yet for me.  As you become more independent you become more stubborn, outspoken and have just the slightest tendency to dig your heels in.  No idea where you get that.  It will serve you well later in life.

Your sensitive side astounds me and you sure didn't get that quality from your mom.  Recently, when I was crying after a hard day you put your tiny little arm around me and whispered, "It's okay, mommy.  Let's spend some time cuddling on the couch together."  Ever the caretaker, ever the sweet sensitive boy, ever Felix.

I love how good you are at puzzles, I love how excited you are when you finish one, identify a letter on a sign, win at I Spy.  Your exclaimations are probably one of my favorite things.  How excited you get over the tiniest things. 

You are a really good listener.  No matter what I may say in the moment of you choking your brother or dumping you milk on the table.  You hear me.  I know that.  You check that you have my hand before talking to a stranger.  You wait with a hand on the car in a parking lot.  You know how to dress yourself, do your missions, clean up.  All the basics are growing right along with you.  Our goal to work ourselves out of a job - I can already see glimmers of success.

I love how "normal" you are.  The 4000 "why?" questions a day.  The constant stream of words coming out of your mouth.  How hilarious poop is to you.  How much you love trucks and video games and legos.  You are such a four-year-old.  You are such a boy.

I love thinking about everything that is right around the corner.  Summer, road trips, easy breezy days with you reading or writing independently.  I love thinking about life with you.  You're going to have an awesome life and I'm grateful to be your mama.  It's perfect that this year your birthday falls on Mother's Day.  

I think you’re a great, cool kid and the best son a mom could ask for.  Stay kind, stay curious, stay little forever.  Tuck in on the movie couch and snuggle your dad, brother and me for always.  You're my most favorite Felix in the whole world.  I know I say it each year, but seriously, best year of my life.  

All my love, 
Your mama