To My Birthday Boy

 An Ollie Tale

Where to begin? Ah, yes. Concerning Ollie. . .

Ollie's are happy, jolly and love to eat. You prefer to be comfortable and cozy, rather than run off and have adventures. Most times.

Thus making you a hobbit of sorts. . .

You have had one rockstar of a year, kiddo. First year of Middle School is in the books! You are now a 7th grader, baby! This year you were MISTER MIDDLE SCHOOL - You got all the awards - 4.0 ALL YEAR, choir student of the year and more. You were everywhere. Choir, drama, honor society, out with friends, swim parties, birthday parties, retirement parties. It is amazing to see you figure out what brings you joy. 

You DO still love your alone time. Video games ("I am at the end of my game, do not come in."), making movies, writing novels, playing with toys you have room to do so after cleaning your room, recording the entire Alexander Hamilton song with your pandas, playing piano, just bonking stuff. 

You were selected Choir Student of the Year for the 6th grade. INCREDIBLE. Mr. Gordon said that you are missed when you're not there. I am so proud of you, Bean. You had a solo at each concert. You were so confident and amazing. Your voice, your ear, your ability to remember it all - chef's kiss.

You were in the Seussification of Romeo and Juliet and did SO MANY shows and had so many rehearsals! It was INCREDIBLE. We LOVED going to see your performances and what an impressive cast.

You did math camp with Mr. Holmquist over the summer and went to his retirement party. He waited for you all to be his student before he decided it was time to retire. I'm so glad you and Felix and dad got to be his students. That is such a special thing.

We did some fun traveling. We went to Lompoc and we loved it just like always. Swimming and Floriano's, BABY. UGH you always love the pool so much. And I just love how the house feels like home instantly. You've gotten to be a really great swimmer. I should probably get the OTHER color of Santa Barbara sweatshirt next time, huh?

We went back to Seabrook for the first time in a LONG time. And we brought our bikes! You and Felix biked to town and we went to the ocean and went to secret beach and had pizza and ice cream and you made a huge fort in the downstairs with the couch cushions.

There were some hard things you tackled this year, too. I think it's important to remember how strong and brave and smart and kind you are even in and especially in hard times. You had friends go thru some stuff and you supported them while still using your resources to care of yourself. You were so clear with your words that you wanted to go back to therapy and we found you a good one who has given you tools and your whole vibe has shifted for the better and happier.

You've been quite the little baker and chef this year, too. You are EXCELLENT at making eggs and have made them for all of us. Even for the ramen, you're great at it. AND you made the most amazing panda cake EVER. Just wow, it looked amazing and tasted great.

It's been an incredible year, I'd do it all over in a heartbeat, there and back again, for sure. Thanks for choosing me to be your mom.

All my love, 

Your mama

To My Birthday Boy

Oh sweet boy. What a wonderful, hilarious, joyful, exceedingly blissful year it's been. What do you think of your life so far? It's hard to believe that, twelve years ago today, I was just going in for one of your last checkups only to find you'd be joining us in the world a few short whirlwind hours later.

FOURTEEN. I cannot believe you’re 14. Seriously. Where does the time GO. Every single year. Every single year when I go to write this, I think, "That age, that cannot be right." 

I love listening to you sing. In the car. Thru the walls. You have a great voice and you sing with such passion. And even still, when you’re on stage I wonder if you’re having fun because you’re so serious.

I love how much you love your people. I hope you always have the serious face and dedicated passion for protecting, supporting and encouraging those you love.

This year you started guitar lessons. You can play Zelda and Mario and seem to be loving it! Hour long classes and you’re just so here for it.

We had sleepovers at home and away. 

You started your last year of middle school. 8th grade. Amazing. You’re crushing it. Truly. Schoolwork and work ethic on lock. You know you’re good at math even if you don’t like it. You’ve grown into all the parts of school and you like most of it and and I cannot wait for your last concert of the year. 

We went back to Seabrook for the first time in a long time. You were allowed to go to town by yourself and to escort Ollie. You loved that freedom and you said how you can’t wait for your license so you can run errands for us.

You have your new laptop and gods you love love love playing with your friends until so so so early in the morning. You scream so loudly it’s a wonder you have a voice.

When you get mad or frustrated, you move thru it so quickly. I’m amazed how you can be so intensely angry one minute and then totally rational the next. You feel safe to feel your feelings and then we just move on. Incredible.

You are tall and have man muscles. You eat a sandwich for snack, have a full dinner and then have a hot pocket or two before bed. Your bones hurt sometimes for how fast you grow.

You are SO into dinosaurs. I love listening to you and how much you know. I love to ask you questions about them. I could listen to paleontology Felix for hours.

We still cannot be in the car together for any length of time without talking about politics. We’re so curious and care so hard, we’ve had so many convos about the world.

I love how most than daily you come into the USLR to tell me you love me and tell me about your day and to lay your head on my knee. You’re so gentle and sweet and little still. I keep waiting for you to turn into this sullen teenager who hates communicating and his family but you continue to love being with us and talk to us and share your life with us. When we had some time off this year and we planned to watch movies, you brought your laptop down to hangout with us. We all had so much fun doing our own thing next to each other. You’re one of my favorite people, kiddo.

I think you’re a great, cool kid and the best son a mom could ask for. Stay kind, stay curious, stay little and stay kind, even when the world seems against you, work to change it. Tuck on in next to me and tell me about your drawing and building and newest joke. You're my most favorite Felix in the whole world. I know I say it each year, but seriously, best year of my life.  

All my love, 
Your mama

To My Birthday Boy

An Ollie Tale

Where to begin? Ah, yes. Concerning Ollie. . .

Ollie's are happy, jolly and love to eat. You prefer to be comfortable and cozy, rather than run off and have adventures.

Thus making you a hobbit of sorts. . .

I can't believe you're 11. You've always been older than you are and it's still so fast that you're growing up. Last year of elementary school! You and your friends who keep you competitive have graduated! You've had so many months of making up stories, pictures, songs, retellings and plays with them. Amazing group you have to keep each other on your toes. Kind of a milestone to thing that I have walked to pick you up from school for the very last time. ("The eagle is flying for the last time.")

While I think you have a good dose of being the darkness in you - you love the dark rooms, the villians, the stories and songs that make you cry - but the joy you find in those things is nothing but pure light.

You are so big and have always been an old soul. You see things other people don't, things other kids don't. 

You have gotten so good at using your voice - saying what you need or want even if it makes you nervous. Like when we got you a new bed - the loft bed you climbed into each night, and you had it for a good 6 months but you really, really didn't like it. So we talked about being in a place of privilege to change it. And you said how it was really hard to say how much you missed daddy cuddles and how you would like a regular bed with the mattress you liked. So we were able to change it up. Because your used your voice.

The way your brain works and your creative ability - trumpet (never have to play it again!), singing (your ear is INSANE), making up songs (you get this from your dad and I can't wait to see what you come up with next) that stick in our heads for days or YEARS at this point. Or also when you come up to me and say "Do we have baking soda and vinegar? I want to blow things up." 

You're so big and grown but at the same time you're so small still. You're one of my favorite buddies to sing with - no matter what kind of music, we are awesome as a family and I love singing Hamilton with you! I love that, the other day, you texted me, "The sandman passed me by and I can't get to sleep" from The Rocking Chair song I used to sing to you every night as a baby. And I came in and we finished the song and you said, "Mom, it's like the original Alexander Hamilton!" What's your name, Ned!?

I love your style - your long curly hair, your business shirt, your WWE t-shirt! You love to be cozy and comfy and you have a great eye for flashy fashion.

Speaking of WWE, you went to a show with dad! It was so much fun and you did a great job in a very busy and people-filled event. I love seeing you share this subject and passion with him.

When we went to Hawaii, you had such a good time. You had your first coconut. you loved the beach and waves and playing with your cousin and brother at Kings and Queens Marketplace. 

You're stubborn and sassy and clever and smart and an amazing kid and I can't wait to see what adventures we all get into this coming year. Complete with second breakfast, elevensies and the other four meals when we can get them.

It's been an incredible year, I'd do it all over in a heartbeat, there and back again, for sure. Thanks for choosing me to be your mom.

All my love, 

Your mama

To My Birthday Boy

Oh sweet boy. What a wonderful, hilarious, joyful, exceedingly blissful year it's been. What do you think of your life so far? It's hard to believe that, twelve years ago today, I was just going in for one of your last checkups only to find you'd be joining us in the world a few short whirlwind hours later.

THIRTEEN. I cannot believe you’re 13. Where does the time GO. Every single year. Every single year when I go to write this, I think, "That age, that cannot be right." 

You are so grown up. You are as tall as I am. Even when you're not trying to be on your tiptoes taller than me. It’s gonna be weird in a few weeks to no longer be the tallest person in the house. I held that title for 17 years and now it belongs to you. CRAZY.

You must have grown while you sleep. I am so loving having a teen who is SUCH A TEEN. You sleep like a cat and are always a little sleepy and hungry and getting snacks at 11 pm at night.

You’re tall, yes, but you’re also so many other ways of grown up. You have your own style. You like your hair long and your tee shirts plain. You still rock a cardigan like a badass. You can almost always be found with your headphones on.

You listen to Tenacious D and Eminem and Avicci and open to lots of kinds of music. Our eLEEts playlist is a sing at top of lungs joy for you and us all. Your voice has changed and your love of performing has not. Your concerts this year have been so fun to see the progress and growth of your classes as a whole and you as an individual singer. You got to perform the national anthem at a mariners game! THAT WAS SO COOL TO SEE.

You love to draw and oh my gods are you amazingly good at it. It brings you so much joy and you always look so happy and intent as you bring your creations to life.

You love video games and from what I hear you’ve gotten better at most of them. Your communication has, too. Yes, you still scream but it’s more funny than panic.

You are patient with the dogs even when Jasper tries your patience. They have helped you learn to be calm and try things to help them even if it doesn't work all the time.

You are able to communicate locate with me and dad calmly and thoughtfully in ways we weren’t able to do before. You are able to tell me what you want and we work together.

You are clever and hilarious. Your comedic timing is truly coming along so nicely. With the burns you give, we should always have aloe around.

We went to Sun River and you lived in the sweatshirt you got there. Ice cream and cousins and pool and family, what a great trip. 

We went to Lompoc again. Pool 24/7. Uncle Cody and Aunt Jill and dogs and pigs and horses and sun. You love the airplane snacks as much as ever.

You got to go with Peter to a family vacation without mom and dad and did great. You had so much fun and so many stories to share.

We went to Hawaii and you loved hanging out with your cousin and all the gelato and sleeping and outings.

You have an amazing sense of justice and protectiveness over those you love. Your brother, your cousins, your family and friends, all are lucky to have you in their corner. You fiercely love those you love. It’s always been true and it’s only grown with you.

You’re just so happy. You tell me you don’t want a lot because you have a lot.

I learn so much from you. Your heart and your kindness, your stubbornness and your determination, your understanding and your genius mind - you're an amazing kiddo and teen and tiny human.

I think you’re a great, cool kid and the best son a mom could ask for. Stay kind, stay curious, stay little and stay kind, even when the world seems against you, work to change it. Tuck on in next to me and tell me about your drawing and building and newest joke. You're my most favorite Felix in the whole world. I know I say it each year, but seriously, best year of my life.  

All my love, 
Your mama

To My Birthday Boy

An Ollie Tale

Where to begin? Ah, yes. Concerning Ollie. . .

Ollie's are happy, jolly and love to eat. You prefer to be comfortable and cozy, rather than run off and have adventures.

Thus making you a hobbit of sorts. . .

It's funny, because while you do enjoy the comforts of a hobbit life immensely - the food, the blankets, the cozy routine, you, my dear boy, have found you have a flair for the adventure, the dramatic and the epic. From reading (devouring, really) book after book of daring tales to participating in a drama club and performance to the creative questions and stories that come out of your head non-stop, you are here for the adventure.

You are TEN. Two whole hands. You are not a little kid anymore. You are a big kid. You have grown up so much in the last year. I can see your brain figuring things out left and right. You have gone from being in a scared and anxious space to having the tools and support to solve for the need. You are brave and strong and vulnerable. You can ask for what you want and stand up for yourself - in big and small ways. From telling a server that you do want more mac and cheese to telling me you'd like to clean your room differently - you gather your courage and speak up.

School is a breeze for you. You changed classrooms early on in the year and had to leave some of your friends behind. But you got to join Mr. Holmquist's class. Now you, Felix and Dad have had Mr. Holmquist as a teacher and that is so weird and awesome and special. You ran for class vice-president and when you didn't win you said, "It's ok, now I can help the class in other ways." You are bored in class a lot and so you read. You went to your first dance and were so brave and ready and then ready to go home. Next year will be awesome, your last year of elementary school.

You are such a good swimmer now and got to put it to good use this year. We went to Lompoc (a tradition at this point) and swam every single day. We went swimming with Laura and Shelbo and the kids. You went to a swimming party. My little fish.

You love to do things your own self. Pushing yourself and asking to do things yourself is common practice with you. I love to see what you come up with from a new soda to a new chapter in the book you're writing, it's all gold. I love when you see things I usually do (for you, for the family) and you want to do them instead - make cookies, write on the calendar, make things with yarn.

Mabel and Jasper have been with us for a year and a half now and boy do you love them. You are so good with them and take such good care of them. It's amazing to see how different it is to have pets with older kiddos. You get to be such a part of their lives. They are so excited to see you. They miss you. They love you so much.

You chose to celebrate your birthday with two friends instead of a party this year. It was so much fun but it was a LOT for you. We did Dave and Buster's, pizza, cake, sleepover and you were DONE after so much engaging. Maybe next year we can do a trip or something more your speed. You are learning!

I love how clever you are. You are so funny and your timing is fantastic. You just get humor. Playing the hiding the socks game back and forth that came out of you not putting them away was chef’s kiss. You are great at roasting people, so good that mom doesn’t even want to hear it! 

You're an amazing kid and I can't wait to see what adventures we all get into this coming year. Complete with second breakfast, elevensies and the other four meals when we can get them.

It's been an incredible year, I'd do it all over in a heartbeat, there and back again, for sure. Thanks for choosing me to be your mom.

All my love, 

Your mama

To My Birthday Boy

Oh sweet boy. What a wonderful, hilarious, joyful, exceedingly blissful year it's been. What do you think of your life so far? It's hard to believe that, twelve years ago today, I was just going in for one of your last checkups only to find you'd be joining us in the world a few short whirlwind hours later.

TWELVE. I can't believe you are twelve. Every time I write it, I think, "That math doesn't math. I have to be wrong." You have grown so much even in the last few weeks. You are over five feet tall. I can no longer lay my cheek on the top of your head when I hug you. You have hormones ruling your life and you STILL manage to be funny and kind and quick to forgive. I am really loving seeing who this person you are growing into is.

This is the first year of your life that you have chosen not to have a party. I am very unsure what to do with myself. Your dad says to enjoy it. And I do enjoy being able to give you exactly what you want for your birthday. You chose apple pie for birthday breakfast pie. You chose angel food cake and strawberries for your cake. You had a sleepover with a friend which included roller skating, arcade, pizza, junk food, two tv's in your room and so much fun. The night before you also slept 12 hours "in preparation" and because you're growing like the cutest Felix weed I ever saw.

You started middle school this year and you're freaking killing it. You walk to and from school with friends. You participate in D&D club. You have lots of fun with your new friends. You love and are doing great in your classes. We experienced a teacher you didn't fully love and learned how to handle that. 

You finally got FORTNIGHT. I know nothing about this game except how much joy it brings you. You don't ask for much and when you got to play this, wow the joy. Incredible.

This year we played some baseball, went swimming, you had your clarinet concert in elementary school and your choir concerts at middle school. I was so proud of you in both. You are quite the performer. You got your nails done professionally and press-on-ly. 

We watched you graduate elementary school with knowledge, passion, lessons learned and still, you are you. You had a graduation party at Shakey's and Mr. Holmquist showed up. Every kid had matching shirts from Keayleen.

We went on hikes and played bingo with the Skobins, we ate Dim Sum, we went to almost every farmer's market at the middle school, we made new friends (Nandor!) and played new games. We visited Farmer's work!

We watched Jasper grow into the almost 100 lb dog he is now. Much less a baby puppy and more of a gangly teenage puppy, similar to you. Unsure of how to use the limbs, falls down sometimes, cute as hell.

We went to San Francisco and Lompoc - what an amazing trip. Only 5 months to next Lompoc!

You are so kind and emotive and friendly and cheerful and passionate and just the coolest. 

I think you’re a great, cool kid and the best son a mom could ask for. Stay kind, stay curious, stay little and stay kind, even when the world seems against you, work to change it. Tuck on in next to me and tell me about your games or your newest story your writing. You're my most favorite Felix in the whole world. I know I say it each year, but seriously, best year of my life.  

All my love, 
Your mama

To My Birthday Boy

 An Ollie Tale

Where to begin? Ah, yes.  Concerning Ollie...

Ollie's are happy, jolly and love to eat.  You prefer to be held, comfortable and cozy, rather than run off and have adventures.

Thus making you a hobbit of sorts...

You are NINE years old. Even though you came out a forty year old man. So serious and thoughtful and discerning.

You’re heavy into video games and figuring out how to win, be the best, figure it out. You get frustrated a lot and are learning how to manage that.

You like your therapist, Summer. You play lots of crazy games with her. I’m so glad you have another grown up in your life to relate to, talk to, trust and help you with tools on how to handle big feelings. Normalizing therapy is so important. You’ll have such a head start on those of us who didn’t learn it was a necessary tool as adults.

Your class with Ms. Alldredge is a great one. You’re a genius. You sass her and you get along really well. Such a small class at only 17 kids. You get along so great with them all! Hayward and Irene are your most talked about friends. I love how much you are liked and said hi to. Over 30 kids are coming to your party. It’s nuts.

You are an amazing inspiration to so many. You are able to express your feelings so clearly you have to dumb it down for others. You are so self aware and able to self regulate. I’m in constant awe. Even when you’re tapped and have nothing else in your tank, you can tell us. You step away. You take a deep breath. It’s amazing to see. I wish you didn’t have to do it so often, but I’m glad you know how.

We road tripped to Uncle Cody’s house last summer. We had a house with a pool which you LIVED IN any time mom and dad weren’t force feeding you Mexican food. We’re going to San fransciso this summer and then to Lompoc so we can do it all over again. I cannot wait.

We had to say good bye to Indy this year. It’s hard to believe it’s only been since November that he’s been gone. You were so sad and stoic and supportive of everyone in the house. Sometimes we have to remind you that you don’t have to put your feelings aside to care about everyone else. You care so deeply and want to fix everything for everyone.

But sadness gives way to new joy. We have Mabel and Jasper now. You have a hard time holding sadness in one hand and joy in the other, but we’re learning. You love them so much and I am so glad because you were the one we were worried about not wanting to engage with them. But you are so in love with Mabel and you like Jasper. 

You, dear boy, had the first sleepover that wasn’t with family this year with Hayward. You rocked it. Of course you did. You went to Defy, and dinner  and then sleepover and we didn’t come get you in the night!

You still love to eat, little hobbit. You enjoyed a cruise to Alaska and all it’s good all the times. You liked the views and the company but boy did we eat.

One thing Ben has been really leaning into this year is letting you boys just be kids. I hope you get a full summer of popsicles and sleeping in and video games and riding bikes and just being a kid because you are a great one.

I can't wait to see what adventures we all get into in the years to come. Complete with second breakfast, elevensies and the other four meals when we can get them.

It's been an incredible year, I’d do all over in a heartbeat, there and back again, for sure.  Thanks for choosing me to be your mom.

All my love,
Your mama

To My Birthday Boy

Oh sweet boy. What a wonderful, hilarious, joyful, exceedingly blissful year it’s been. What do you think of your life so far? It’s hard to believe that, eleven years ago today, I was just going in for one of your last checkups only to find out that you’d be joining us in the world a few short whirlwind hours later. 

Can’t believe you’re 11. Every year I write your new age I feel like it’s wrong. There’s no way you’re so old. This one feels like such a departure from young childhood. Sometimes I look at you now and see who you'll look like as a teen. It's crazy how fast and slow you're growing up.

You are such a kind boy. So passionate and funny and cheerful. You make everyone around you smile. I was delighted at your birthday party at Peak Gymnastics by how kind and considerate and caring every child was. The people you have chosen to surround yourself with are truly an incredible example of what is going to change the world.

You’re figuring out this human thing better than many fully grown humans I know. You get frustrated and annoyed and mad and still  I see you trying. Every single day, I see you putting in effort. I am so proud of you s d I hope you are too. 

Last year you said was the hardest year of your life. In putting Floyd down in March and then Indy in November, what a hard year for everyone. You were so sweet with Indy and felt your feelings so purely. You still do. I’m so glad you feel safe and loved to use your words and your voice. I’m so honored to hold you through these moments in life. 

The arrival of Mabel and Jasper have made you so happy. There are tears most days of joy and sadness. Memories of Indy and Floyd in the watching of our new dogs. It’s hard. It’s good.

You wanted peach pie and chicken noodle soup for your birthday dinner. You were so considerate in planning you party - making sure those kids with allergies were still able to participate. Your consideration of people is insistent and I love it.

You are loved. You are safe. You are amazing. I am so proud of the human you are and the one you're growing into. You're headed to middle school next year, boy are we excited and nervous. So much energy and wondering how things are going to go. You have so many friends and I hope you'll all help each other through the weird new-ness.

I cannot wait to see what this next year brings. 

I think you’re a great, cool kid and the best son a mom could ask for. Stay kind, stay curious, stay little and stay kind, even when the world seems against you, work to change it. Tuck on in next to me and tell me about your games or your newest story your writing. You're my most favorite Felix in the whole world. I know I say it each year, but seriously, best year of my life.  

All my love, 
Your mama

 An Ollie Tale

Where to begin? Ah, yes.  Concerning Ollie...

Ollie's are happy, jolly and love to eat.  You prefer to be held, comfortable and cozy, rather than run off and have adventures.

Thus making you a hobbit of sorts...

Eight years old, baby! I can't believe it. Every year I have to pause when I write the number of years old you are and this year was no exception.

You still love to be fancy. Setting a table, your accents, video games. You also love to be the best.

This is the first year of school you’ve had from start to finish. How insane is it to think about that. You rocked it, of course. You love Mrs. Swanson, she was an incredible teacher, both challenging you and dressing up like a groundhog. A great balance for you. You scored really well in your hi-cap tests. You got so many raven raves. Your art is so beautiful and I can’t wait to see what you do with it. You got to go on a field trip! On a bus! To the zoo! You were most excited about the red foxes.

You got to celebrate your first birthday in school! You gave your classmates favors and got to have them sing happy birthday to you. I think you enjoyed being the last birthday of the school year.

You love brain teasers and jokes and fun facts. You love being with your people. You are growing out of being a little kid to being a big kid.

We had to say good bye to Floyd this year. You were so concerned for everyone else. Making sure they were ok. It took some work on your part to process it all for you. You’re a caretaker. Mom and dad will always work to make sure you know it’s not your job and we’re here for you.

We’re about to go on a cruise to Alaska. You are most excited about the tenders to shore. I love that. And the food, of course.

Even though I still think of you as a hobbit, we do love to go on adventures, hikes and walks. You love the snacks that sometimes accompany us. You love throwing rocks in the river. We are going to do so much adventuring this summer.

You and I traveled to Cheney and back in a day to get your really really long hair cut. It was such a fun day. With windy times near Columbia river, gas station snacks, singalongs, conversations. What a great day.

We went to Seabrook and brought Tristan! Such fun with all the cousins! You had a whole floor to yourselves. The older you get the more fun you three have together.

You got to go to birthday parties! Martial arts and baseball and gymnastics! I’m so glad we’re able to attend these in person events again. You had so much fun and play hard. I love how brave you are. When we had your birthday party, you wanted to go ice skating and just flew out there, fell pretty hard, got up and ran some more.

I can't wait to see what adventures we all get into in the years to come. Complete with second breakfast, elevensies and the other four meals when we can get them.

It's been an incredible year, one of the best and most surprising of my life.  I'd do the parts with you all over in a heartbeat, there and back again, for sure.  Thanks for choosing me to be your mom.

All my love,
Your mama

To My Birthday Boy

 To my birthday boy,

Oh sweet boy. What a wonderful, hilarious, joyful, exceedingly blissful year it’s been. What do you think of your life so far? It’s hard to believe that, eight years ago today, I was just going in for one of your last checkups only to find out that you’d be joining us in the world a few short whirlwind hours later. 

DOUBLE DIGITS. How are you ten years old? I cannot believe you've been here a whole decade. And yet, I haven't aged a day. 

What a year. Going back to school, getting to see friends, getting to be a KID. Riding bikes with your brother, lots of walks and playing Harry Potter. I do so love our walks in the woods when Dumbledore hands you off to Sirius and you tell him what you've been up to. Picking up a wand and giving it back when we depart. Those woods behind our house have so much magic in them now.

This is your first birthday in two years that we're getting to have a PARTY. Peak Gymnastics, such a fun place and where we had parties before the pandemic. You're going to have such a blast. You're going to be so tired. So many people want to celebrate with you.

Everyone in our house has been fully vaccinated for months now. They don't require masks at school anymore. Things in the world feel weird and new and oddly familiar. And you are doing such a great job of navigating it. You're tired, sure. We have behaviors to adjust sometimes but overall, you're safe and loved and you know it. 

You requested pumpkin pie for your traditional birthday breakfast pie this year. I love that so much because I have to make it. No one has pumpkin pie right now. My sweet punkin.

This year, your birthday is on Mother's Day. Which is just the BEST because you are who made me a mama. I sure do love being yours. I love watching you grow into this amazing person. Who fights injustice fiercely, who protects his brother without hesitation, who knows how they want to change the world and who I know without a doubt, will. You already do.

Your teacher this year is Mrs. Long and she’s still amazing. School is HARD this year and you are rocking it out. You love learning (geometry is new fave) and reading. Even in the summer I know you will read and want to learn as much as you can. 

You love Jurassic Park and Pokemon and animals. You love history and learning strange and true facts. You want to go see Uncle Cody so you can help with the dogs and horses and pigs. You are going to a cat cafe this year and lord help us if I see you trying to sneak one home. You like being right. You miss Floyd. You love diving into your pile of animals. You love the giant cardboard box in your room and use it like a fort. You're still an extroverted extrovert and love people. Strangers, good friends, it's all the same to you.

I love your heart, so sensitive and open and honest. When Floyd died in March you said "I hope I can enjoy the rest of my life." You feel things so intensely and you are learning how to put it all into words. You knew it was the right time for Floyd to go but you knew it would hurt so much. You loved giving him cheeseburgers and tater tots on his last day. You'll miss him always but it'll change and morph into something not so sharp. And that's ok.

You are loved. You are safe. You are amazing. I am so proud of the human you are and the one you're growing into. You care deeply about people. You want the world to be a fair place. You are inclusive and kind and creative and aware and sensitive. You are going to change the world just by being you. You already are.

I cannot wait to see what this next year brings. 

I think you’re a great, cool kid and the best son a mom could ask for. Stay kind, stay curious, stay little, innocent and blind to the worse things in the world forever stay kind, even when the world seems against you, work to change it. Tuck on in next to me and let’s read. You're my most favorite Felix in the whole world. I know I say it each year, but seriously, best year of my life.  

All my love, 
Your mama

To My Birthday Boy

 An Ollie Tale

Where to begin? Ah, yes.  Concerning Ollie...

Ollie's are happy, jolly and love to eat.  You prefer to be held, comfortable and cozy, rather than run off and have adventures.

Thus making you a hobbit of sorts...

Babe, you are SEVEN. Even writing that it feels just so wrong. You’re so old and yet still so little.

We are just starting to come out of quarantine a little and the pandemic is ever changing our world. In big and small ways. Your hair is SO LONG and beautiful and falls in large barrel curl ringlets. You get like so over us always complimenting you on it. Hair flip.

You’ve got one week of school left and you couldn’t be more over first grade. You’re so far beyond grade level it’s a little scary. You just got into hi-cap classes and tested at the top of all the scores. Duh, little genius baby.

I mean, yes sometimes we use our genius powers for evil. You are mad clever, and you know it. But that’s ok. You have a sweet and kind heart coupled with your really powerful brain.

We just left a period of intense learning with Felix. And then you were all, “Hold my Capri sun.” Because now it seems to be your turn. We are learning so much about feelings and frustration and growing up. You’re experiencing Felix grow up and not always wanting to play with you. You are realizing you’re your own person and you have your own interests. You really don’t like it when you don’t get what you want and you find it difficult to use your words.

You’re still decadent as hell. You have a laundry list of all the things you want for your birthday. All the kinds of M&M’s, make your own cupcakes, Popeye’s, bubble machine, new candy you’ve never tried, birthday pie, all the candy you want, staying up late, the list goes on. You’re like an Italian royal during their wedding week.

You still give zero fucks, man.  You tell it how it is. Honest and funny and true and in that tiny adorable voice that gets SO serious if we're talking about Minecraft, Dragon City or Weird, But True.

You especially love to creat your own version of things. Your own characters your own dragons your own worlds. You are constantly creating and I cannot get enough of that imagination.

I love how I can hear you wherever you are just singing a bit of a song to yourself while you do whatever it is you’re doing. Same, babe.

You are one of the most mature people I know. You get so sick of other people and their crap. You love to mute your class when it’s too much. You run away at parties when it’s too loud. You’re a gentle and kind and wise old soul who just sees things other people don’t.

I can't wait to see what adventures we all get into in the years to come. Complete with second breakfast, elevensies and the other four meals when we can get them.

It's been an incredible year, one of the best and most surprising and harder of my life.  I'd do the parts with you all over in a heartbeat, there and back again, for sure.  Thanks for choosing me to be your mom.

All my love,
Your mama

To My Birthday Boy

 To my birthday boy,

Oh sweet boy. What a wonderful, hilarious, joyful, exceedingly blissful year it’s been. What do you think of your life so far? It’s hard to believe that, eight years ago today, I was just going in for one of your last checkups only to find out that you’d be joining us in the world a few short whirlwind hours later. 

It happens every year. IT HAPPENS EVERY YEAR. I just typed "nine" and thought, "No, that's wrong. He can't be 9." But, just like every year, it's true. Maybe even more true this year than previous ones - because I got to be home with you so much this year and got to SEE all the growth and change that happened. Nine. That’s ALMOST A WHOLE HAND, KID.

We’re at Seabrook just before your birthday and it’s been a peaceful place for us this last year. We’ve been in quarantine/lockdown/pandemic world since March 2020. This is your second birthday in quarantine. A lot of what I’m worried you’re missing doesn’t seem to phase you. You’re happy and thriving and excited about as much as you were in the before times.

We’re almost fully vaccinated. Mom and Dad have one shot under their belt and will be immunized at the end of May. We’re celebrating you on your birthday and after with a small party with family. You seem just thrilled at the traditions of dad making your requested meal and birthday breakfast pie.

You have really grown up this year. We never really had the terrible twos or a three-nager  but seven was a tough year. You learned. I learned. We grew. And now we’re on the other side of it. It truly was a phase. Who knew you’d ever grow out of it. But you’re so able to calm yourself, use your voice and avoid a tantrum. I mean, I can’t think of the last time you had an epic meltdown tantrum. Felix, that’s incredible. And so are you.

This year and we as your parents have asked just so much of you. We have high expectations and I gotta tell you, kiddo, you have exceeded them all. You’re thriving in your high-cap class, even remotely. You’re an incredible artist and author. I love when you want to use the iPad and your laptop at night so you can write. UGH, MY HEART.

I love when you wear shorts because you have the knobby knees. You’re so gangly. Like a golden retriever that hasn’t grown into its paws yet.

You are a master bike rider now and love to be outside zooming around every chance you get. Outside was made more wonderful by the arrival of new neighbors with a little girl near your age. Cul du sac times rock!

Your teacher this year (and next) is Mrs. Long and she’s incredible. She pushes you, helps you be more and more independent, challenges and supports you. Even when in-person learning opened back up and you had to switch schedules and re-learn some things, you and she did it with such grace. School is almost over. You’re so close to a summer more normal.

We read and watched the 3rd and 4th Harry Potter. I love how intense of feelings books and movies get you. During the last part of movie 4 your whole body was sweaty. I think it’s because you’re such an empath. All the feels all the time

You love unicorns. And dragons. And dinosaurs. And non-fiction. And strange but true facts. You want to work in a pet store when you grow up. And you talk a lot about when you’ll move out (doing the math to the year) your kids and pets you’ll have and their lives you’ll give them. It all sounds like a sweet gig. You also really, really, really like to be right. Like a lot. A really lot. But you’re more kind about it when you’re wrong these days.

You are loved. You are safe. You are amazing. I am so proud of the human you are and the one you're growing into. You care deeply about people. You want the world to be a fair place. You are inclusive and kind and creative and aware and sensitive. You are going to change the world just by being you.

I cannot wait to see what this next year brings. 

I think you’re a great, cool kid and the best son a mom could ask for. Stay kind, stay curious, stay little, innocent and blind to the worse things in the world forever stay kind, even when the world seems against you, work to change it. Tuck on in next to me and let’s read. You're my most favorite Felix in the whole world. I know I say it each year, but seriously, best year of my life.  

All my love, 
Your mama

To My Birthday Boy

An Ollie Tale

Where to begin? Ah, yes.  Concerning Ollie...

Ollie's are happy, jolly and love to eat.  You prefer to be held, comfortable and cozy, rather than run off and have adventures.

Thus making you a hobbit of sorts...

How in the world are you SIX. I just can't. You are growing as fast as your hair, which, by the way, has never been longer.

This world right now. The pandemic. The protests. The uncertainty. It's all so much. And you, my sweet little love, are handling it all so much better than many adults I know. You know enough of what's happening and you have hope. Hope and certainty that everything is going to be ok. You know that is not the case for everyone. You understand so much at such a young age. Things grown ups don't even understand.

You. Can. Read. I am just so proud. And would like to tell the world that the desire to play Pokemon video games is greatly responsible for your motivation. Well done, baby!

You still give zero fucks, man.  You tell it how it is. Honest and funny and true and in that tiny adorable voice that gets SO serious if we're talking about Minecraft, Animal Crossing or Diablo.

You are so in love with anything soft. One of your birthday requests this year was that everyone has to wear soft things all day long. Such a tactile baby. You love to fiddle with things, rip things into pieces, destroy things. You need a fidgit cube.

You were a cat in another life. Anytime there’s a small space you’re in it. Boxes. Under tables, in tents. There’s Ollie.

Your sense of humor and comedic timing makes me laugh out loud daily. From the original “wakka-wakka” to your puns to your looks, you are the funniest kid I know.

I love your love of all things decadent. When asked what you wanted for your birthday you basically said “soft things, luxurious bedding and all my favorite foods, plus candy, and I get to do whatever I want.” If we let you, it would be a five day event. And goddess knows you’re going lord your power over everyone all day like a queen.

Your maturity and sense of the world doesn’t come without a serious side. You often stare off at bedtime only to follow it up with “what happens when we die?” or “what would happen if you stomped on a skull?” You have such wonder and concern about things you don’t know. You’re curious and thoughtful. Maybe a little morbid. And that’s all ok.

In case you thought you had grown out of it, you have not. You are still “The Darkness”. From loving villains to thinking people are assholes for parking terribly, to ripping paper into little bits and leaving them on the floor because it’s fun to destroy, you march to a dark drummer. You feel things so very deeply and I hope that is always the case.

I can't wait to see what adventures we all get into in the years to come. Complete with second breakfast, elevensies and the other four meals when we can get them.

It's been an incredible year, one of the best of my life.  I'd do it all over in a heartbeat, there and back again, for sure.  Thanks for choosing me to be your mom.

All my love,
Your mama

To My Birthday Boy

To my birthday boy,

Oh sweet boy. What a wonderful, hilarious, joyful, exceedingly blissful year it’s been. What do you think of your life so far? It’s hard to believe that, eight years ago today, I was just going in for one of your last checkups only to find out that you’d be joining us in the world a few short whirlwind hours later. 

It happens every year. IT HAPPENS EVERY YEAR. I just typed "eight" and thought, "No, that's wrong. He can't be 8." But, just like every year, it's true. You are this many years old. How did that happen? You feel so old and yet so tiny all at once.

It's such a strange time to be alive right now. If you're reading this years from now, to bring you up to speed, we're a few months into a pandemic. It has been scary, weird, anxiety producing, and tiring. But there have been good things too. We are spending every day together. We are all more together than we have been previously. And, though it can be difficult sometimes, it's honestly one of the most fun times I've known. I get to see you learn and grow with your brother while your dad teaches you. I get to see you help and try new things.

You have grown up so. very. much. this year. Things that would have sent you into a fit of rage or anxiety are now just looked at and shrugged at. You just move on. You're always learning how to slow down. How to use your words. How to manage your emotions. Sometimes they win and over take you. But more and more I see you experience, acknowledge and process them. This weird time, honey, you're handling it better than so many other fully grown humans I see, yours truly included.

This year we went to Seabrook a couple of times. I am loving traveling with you. We went to Seabrook and had Christmas with Banana and Farmer. One of the best vacations I can remember. You started to enjoy and not fear the ocean more. 

We did many hikes and walks this year. You guys are getting really good at trucking around and along. Enjoying trees and plants and animals and water. I hope we do a lot of this during the summer.

Your first live musical was The Little Mermaid at Village Theatre in Issaquah. Boy did we dress UP and have a fancy dinner after. You boys have gotten to do some crazy fancy eating this year. John Howie Steak and Salish Lodge to name a few.

Our August trip before school was San Francisco - which you call Fran Sancisco (and if anyone ever tries to correct you I'll bite them). We did it all and you LOVED it.

Second grade started off with a great teacher and a super happy to be back at school Felix. I'm glad you had most of the school year in the classroom. I'm glad you weren't a 6th grader with camp cancelled or a senior who didn't get to walk at graduation. Those I know in those grades have been dealt a sad, hard hand. But I do feel heartbroken you didn't get to finish your 2nd grade year full out. 

You made cupcakes all by yourself for Uncle Evan. You are so inquisitive and love baking shows. I adore our time each night when we watch Great British Baking Show. You know so MUCH about it and I am learning to let you try more things like help with a lattice crust for pie or beat an egg. 

We have finished TWO Harry Potter books and movies! Girl. You are killing it with these books. You listen (mostly) and remember what's happening. You have favorite characters and ones you hate. It makes me SO happy to hear you gasp when you hear Hagrid's voice when I read.

You have finished all the Star Wars movies. All 9. PHEW. 

I wrote the next bit last year and it's still so very true. You love unicorns. And dragons. And dinosaurs. And comics and Star Wars. And non-fiction. You want to work in a pet store when you grow up. You also really, really, really like to be right. Like a lot. A really lot.

You are loved. You are safe. You are amazing. I am so proud of the human you are and the one you're growing into. You care deeply about people. You want the world to be a fair place. You said you wouldn't have your shirt off in public because women can't and that's bullshit. You are going to change the world just by being you.

I cannot wait to see what this next year brings.

I think you’re a great, cool kid and the best son a mom could ask for. Stay kind, stay curious, stay little, innocent and blind to the worse things in the world forever. Tuck on in next to me and let’s read. You're my most favorite Felix in the whole world. I know I say it each year, but seriously, best year of my life.  

All my love, 
Your mama